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Quote of the Day
“Take him away, boys.” – Bart Simpson “Hey, I’m the chief here. Bake him away, toys.” – Chief Wiggum “What’d you say, chief?” – Lou “Do what the kid says.” – Chief Wiggum
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“Cape Feare” Spews Truth
“Okay , it’s over! Get ’em out of here.” – Moe Aside from the way they don’t go off on random tangents and seem to be actually enjoying these episodes, the next biggest difference between these old...
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Quote of the Day
“I say we call Matlock, he’ll find the culprit. It’s probably that evil Gavin MacLeod or George ‘Goober’ Lindsey.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson “Grampa, Matlock’s not real.” – Bart Simpson “Neither are my...
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Quote of the Day
“I don’t think this is such a good idea.” – Marge Simpson “This isn’t just because of Sideshow Bob, it’s a chance to turn around all our stinkin’ lives.” – Homer Simpson
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“The Dad Who Knew Too Little” Makes Baby Jesus Cry
“Now, don’t you fret. When I’m through, he won’t set foot in this town again. I can be very, very persuasive. . . . C’mon, leave town.” – Crappy Private Detective “No.” – Sideshow Bob “Aw, I’ll be...
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Crazy Noises: At Long Last Leave
As part of our tireless efforts to demonstrate the many ways Zombie Simpsons fails to entertain, Season 23 will be subjected to the kind of rigorous examination that can only be produced by people...
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Reading Digest: Frozen Electoral Fraud Edition
“Lisa, you got a letter.” – Marge Simpson “It’s from my pen pal, Anya.” – Lisa Simpson “Dear Lisa, as I write this I am very sad. Our president has been overthrown and-” – Anya “-replaced, by the...
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Mr. Burns, A Post-Electric Play: Enjoyed By All
By Hank Pumpkins Let me start out by saying this: I both love to pretend, and am horrible at, being a journalist, a profession where my egocentrism is at odds with my sheer obliviousness. Which...
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Quote of the Day
“Well, I’d like to help you, ma’am, but I’m afraid there’s no law against mailing threatening letters.” – Chief Wiggum “I’m pretty sure there is.” – Marge Simpson “Ha, the day I take cop lessons from...
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Quote of the Day
“Oh, my God! Someone’s trying to kill me! . . . Oh, wait. It’s for Bart.” – Homer Simpson
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Quote of the Day
“Robert, if released would you pose any threat to one Bart Simpson?” – Lawyer “Bart Simpson? The spirited little scamp who twice foiled my evil schemes and sent me to this dank, urine soaked hell...
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Quote of the Day
“Hello, Moe? We know you’re the one behind this, so knock it off or we’re going to the cops!” – Lisa Simpson “No, no, I’ll take care of it. Okay it’s over, get ’em out of here! Alright, andele!...
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Quote of the Day
“But who’d want to hurt me? I’m this century’s Dennis the Menace.” – Bart Simpson “It’s probably the person you least suspect.” – Homer Simpson “That’s good, Dad.” – Lisa Simpson
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Quote of the Day
“This isn’t just because of Sideshow Bob, it’s a chance to turn around all our stinking lives.” – Homer Simpson “I’ll be Gus, the loveable chimney sweep. Clean as a whistle, sharp as a thistle, best...
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Quote of the Day
“Hey, kids, wanna drive through that cactus patch?” – Homer Simpson “Yeah!” – Bart Simpson “Yeah!” – Lisa Simpson “No!” – Sideshow Bob “Welp, two against one.” – Homer Simpson
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Quote of the Day
“Wow, a houseboat. You know, the great thing is, if you don’t like your neighbors, you can just pull up the anchor and sail someplace else.” – Homer Simpson
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Quote of the Day
“Maude, these new finger razors make hedge trimming as much fun as sitting through church.” – Ned Flanders
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Quote of the Day
“The following neighborhood residents will not be killed by me. Ned Flanders. Maude Flanders.” – Sideshow Bob “Oh, isn’t that nice?” – Ned Flanders
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Quote of the Day
“Well, I’d like to help you, ma’am, but I’m afraid there’s no law against mailing threatening letters.” – Chief Wiggum “I’m pretty sure there is.” – Marge Simpson “Ha, the day I take cop lessons from...
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Quote of the Day
“Oh, my God! Someone’s trying to kill me! . . . Oh, wait. It’s for Bart.” – Homer Simpson
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